My heart literally hurts. And when I mean 'literally', I do mean 'literally'. Recently, I've been having some form of chest pain. It's not something that I feel only when I exercise, but in my day to day activities too. It's starting to worry me. It got so bad that during my run today, I stopped half-way and just walked home.
I don't know what's going on, and it kind of scares me. Maybe it's my eating habits. I'll try working on that and then maybe this pain will go away. Or maybe it's because of a lack of conditioning. We'll see how it works out.
Without my satisfying run, I reached home in a foul mood. I tried to do pull-ups too, but out of the three pull-up bars I passed by on the way home, one was under construction and two were already occupied. I did some static exercises at home instead, maybe that'll help.
My mum called while I was exercising. She's in the United Kingdoms right now. It's a long story! Anyway, she called and she apologized over the phone about how she won't be home for my birthday.
Originally, this wouldn't bother me. But she was so damn apologetic about it, that after some time, it did bother me, and it sucked. I don't think much of birthday. I don't think much of "occasions" in general. Too much expectations...sometimes, it turns out to be just another day and you're left wanting after that.
I have ZERO expectations. But it's OTHER PEOPLE who have expectations, and it's some sort of peer expectation thing which influences me into having SOME expectations, and ultimately, some disappointments.
At the end of the day, I don't really feel much of celebrating my birthday this year. I'm still the same person. I haven't really changed. And what's more, I'm happy with my life as it is. My whole life is a fucking celebration, damn it.
Hmm, yeah, I'm sour over the bad run haha. Kay, I'm gonna shower.
No comments:
Post a Comment